Art of Asking Questions…
…The Courage of Knowing When.
Accountability has little to do with authority. It doesn’t matter if the employer is the CEO, a manager, or a supervisor. In other words, just because someone might be your “boss ”doesn’t mean that there cannot be a negotiated understanding of what needs to be done and the timeline in which it should be accomplished, which is the basis for accountability.
In 1973, I was fired from my first job mainly for not being able to meet deadlines in a timely fashion. The man who subsequently hired me became a mentor for me during this segment of my career. One of the main lessons he taught me was about how to negotiate the timeline of a task or project so that both the employer and the employee are held accountable.
When an employer assigns a task, they might tell you what they want you to do and ask for the work to be completed within a certain timeline. This practice gives little room for mutual commitment.. What if, in contrast, the employee has the opportunity to suggest an appropriate deadline; one that fits with their schedule based on their workload. For example, “I can have this back to you on Wednesday.” “When on Wednesday?” the employer may ask. It’s always important to precisely add a time as to when the work will be completed and expectations are clear. The critical moment for accountability comes when the employer suggests that they would like the work completed sooner than the employee originally suggested and then follows up with the important bit of negotiation -- by asking what can be removed from their plate so that both the employee can have the time to get the work done and the employer gets the turnaround they want.
When someone walks up to your desk and drops something on it, you’re empowered to ask 4 simple questions:
Are the deadlines appropriate based on your current workload?
Have you received a full explanation for the task at hand?
How will you employee be measured on the successful completion or how will the performance be evaluated?
Has someone allowed you to take ownership of the task?
This negotiation process helps both parties meet their needs and gives the employee ownership of their time. It is a picture of two adults working together to meet their joint goals. There is a “give and get” implied rather than a “tell and demand” for work completion that does not give the employee any wiggle room.
When a comfortable space is created where the employee is recognized and valued and, most importantly, listened to, not only is the work of higher quality but also there is more information shared to ensure that the tasks or projects are understood to be a joint responsibility.
When coaching the folks that I work with, in particular, a big one for me is getting them to stop trying to answer every question that comes along. Leaders should learn to keep their mouths shut at certain times -- Susan Scott, in Fierce Conversations called it, “Let the silence do the heavy lifting” That’s what I teach my clients as an executive coach.
As an executive you don’t have to be a Mr. or Mrs. Answer Person. It is easier, and more effective, to go back to just listening rather than talking. You see the linkage in those two?
The problem is, we get our ego wrapped around it. We want to provide an answer. We’re trained to provide answers. It makes us look good. But it is also an ego issue. Good leaders know how to listen and listen “until it hurts.” That’s how you develop your people.
Then it’s about asking questions. You have to know how to ask questions and what questions to ask. But the piece on the knowing when to ask is more important.
If you’ve learned the skills of asking questions — the listening and asking — that’s the confidence of knowing how. That puts additional arrows in your quiver. The courage of knowing when, however, is how you pull those arrows out of your quiver and knowing when to use it to get the biggest results.
For me, the wisdom of asking questions is not only the confidence of knowing how to ask a question, but it’s also the courage of knowing when to ask a question. It’s also knowing when to stay silent. You don’t ask a question every time. You do it when it’s right as a leader to do it, not as a manager. Or, if you’re moving from a manager to a leader, take your time and see what you need to ask those tough questions. Sometimes you ask and sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you need to keep your mouth shut and let your employees provide the answers.
I have five pages of questions I recommend CEOs and leaders ask their people. Here are just some examples of the questions I use to help leaders develop their employees.*
What’s your contribution to this not being successful or to the problem you talking about?
What’s your responsibility for this not being successful? That’s a tough question for someone who comes in and says, “Here’s what I was supposed to do. It didn’t work.”
What did you learn from this?
What’s become clear since the last time you and I met and talked about it?
What is an area that if you made one improvement would you and the others get the greatest return on your time, energy and dollars?
What topic are you hoping I wouldn’t bring up?
What part of your responsibilities are you avoiding now?
Simply food-for-thought.
*Many of these questions come or were adapted from Peter Block’s, Community: A Sense of Belonging.
